I’ve been a fan of Alex Charchar’s work for a long time. He is a designer whose essays on Retinart have always inspired me a great deal. Yet none of his previous work could have prepared me for his essay The Colors of Grief, which was published in Issue #2 of The Manual earlier this year.

In this gut-wrenching piece of work Alex describes, in honest and heartbreaking detail, the ongoing healing process he and his wife are going through after their daughter passed away less than 12 hours after her birth. He explains the role that design and creative work are playing to slowly bring color back into their lives, and in doing so, he teaches us about the power of Design as a force for good in the world. It is, simply put, one of the most impactful essays I have ever read.

A while later I quoted a paragraph from The Colors of Grief in an article for Smashing Magazine entitled Designer Myopia:

I now know that it is through love and passion and happiness that anything of worth is brought into being. A fulfilled and accomplished life of good relationships and craftsmanship is how I will earn my keep.

Alex contacted me after reading the article, and thus began an ongoing email conversation that I have enjoyed immensely. Such is the way of the Internet — random connections can turn into lasting friendships if we just pay attention. But that’s a post for a different day.

I asked Alex if he’d be interested in answering some questions about his work and his writing process, and he generously agreed. What follows is more of a conversation than an interview as we discuss his thoughts on design, typography, corporate politics, and the process of writing his essay for The Manual. I hope you enjoy it.

What is your current role — how do you spend your days?

I’m a senior graphic designer at an in-house studio within a university, doing a lot of promotional materials for both internal and external audiences. For the last five years my focus has mostly been print based, but as the uni is currently looking at how we’re going to deliver content to students via smart phones and tablets, there’s been a lot more exploration, experimentation and research being done in terms of what’s worth pursuing. Luckily some people have realised that design will play quite a role in it all, so I’ve been in an increasing number of conversations and projects because of it.

It’s a good place to work and I work with great people, but there are often times when the usual drudge of being part of an in-house comes to the surface, mostly in the form of politics, overhead and repetitive basket-weaving kind of work in which we have to stick very tightly to established designs. It’s amazing how much gets in the way of actually being able to do the work.

Having worked at a university for a while as well, I’m all too aware of some of these challenges. Have you found ways to overcome some of the significant political obstacles you encounter in your day-to-day work? Have you been able to use design to solve some of the issues?

Ah! We share a pain and so I’d imagine we probably shared a similar approach to dealing with it! I first tried to keep up, which failed miserably. I just want to get to my work and not learn another half dozen acronyms and keep up with who is in which department this week, and what project is being explored by what committee who reports to which managerial group. Just too messy for me. So now I listen when it directly influences our group or work, play the game a little when it’s fun (and can get me onto good projects), and ignore everything else I can.

You have a strong interest in typography as well. Has this always been the case, or is it a recent passion? What draws you to typography?

It’s been something I’ve loved almost since the beginning. When I first began playing around with graphic design, I hated having to spend so much time sourcing good photos to play with (this was mostly for graphic art, not graphic design, but that’s where I started), and so I tried to focus on making type work well. It was more convenience than anything else ”“ when you use stock photography or illustration the design often suffers, but there’s nothing that suffers when you use a classic typeface. Nothing is lost by it having been used a million times before. This introduced new challenges ”“ establishing how to communicate emotion and generate interest using only type? Fun!

I had always respected typography a great deal ”“ Bringhurst’s classic has been used more than any other book and was one of the first I ever purchased and poured myself into. But when I started to look at design history and stumbled over European modernism I was hooked. A quick flirt with Tschichold turned into a passion that I still have today. It helps that using a good typeface can feel like cheating ”“ so much of the work has already been done by the type designer. The role of graphic designer is often to shut up and get out of the way so the typeface can shine.

I’d love to know a bit more detail around The Colors of Grief — the writing process, the editing, and as much as you’re comfortable sharing about all the emotions that went along with that.

It was rough and moved very slowly.

At first I knew I had to write just to move some emotions and ideas around. I came to realise that the only chance I had of being able to move in any direction was if I explored what was going on internally by stringing together some words and hoping some light would shine through. It ended up being quite an emotional purge as I wished to pour as much of myself onto the page as possible.

On occasion I found myself stuck in every sense of the word. I couldn’t move, nor think outside of a restrained sentence, staring painfully at the cursor, knowing what I had to tap out, what had to be said. It was important to me to be completely honest. I felt to hide any part of what I was going through, to pretend I wasn’t as hurt as I was (and continue to be) would be a small crime against what I was feeling and against anyone who might end up reading the story of my daughter. I would often use the pain as a guide, knowing that the more an idea mentioned would hurt, the more important it was for me to show it to people.

In writing this essay I was asking people to come along a very personal journey with me, and to then hide things from them felt horribly dishonest ”“ if they were willing to have me guide them through this painful story, they deserved everything I could give.

It sounds like even early on, you had a sense that sharing your story will somehow become part of the healing process. Is that an accurate assumption? Did you spend a lot of time wondering how people will react, and did it influence your process in any way?

Yeah, that’s spot on. As alluded to above, I’m increasingly feeling that for anything creative to be memorable it needs to be brutally honest ”“ and I wanted this story to be memorable for both those who read it and myself. I wanted to know that I did the best I possibly could to heal what had been broken, no matter how small a step it might have been. I freaked out quite a bit about how people would react. There were a few moments where I thought it was getting too heavy and people might feel that I was exploiting their emotions and the story of my daughter for the sake of an article. Carolyn (my editor) talked me off that ledge a couple of times, normally saying something along the lines of “the people who would think that way aren’t the people you’re writing for.” In the end I think we cut out anything that got in the way of the raw elements of the story.

So how did it get from words on a page to being an essay in The Manual?

In the end I had a ‘draft’ that was several thousand words long and so I started the process of editing, occasionally complaining on Twitter, and I think I posted a photo or two of our kitchen table covered in print outs with red scribbles all over them. This is when something amazing happened ”“ Carolyn Wood, who I might have spoken to briefly once or twice before, asked if there was anything she could help with. I had only shown a couple of people very close to me what I was doing. Being that this was Carolyn Wood, I thought “why not?” This was perhaps one of the smartest things I’ve ever done.

She looked at it as a personal favor, with no thought of The Manual on either of our minds (especially mine). It was one of the sweetest and most generous things anyone has ever done for me. What followed was many, many chats over Skype as we worked through the article line by line, sentence by sentence. She showed an amazing gift for getting the best out of my writing in an amazingly delicate way. The patience she showed me was unparalleled as she would guide me through the rough patches, and a great comfort was found in knowing that a laugh was only a moment away if we needed to reach for it. There were some days when we would work on only a single phrase, as we would laugh hysterically through stories and jokes, she would make fun of my Australian accent or my ability to use about a thousand words when three would do. There were a few moments, especially towards the end, where both our voices would crack and one of us would go quiet, most often myself, but I always felt very safe in the company of a trusted friend. I had never known what it was like to trust another person with your work so completely, but I knew that my words and ideas were perfectly safe and well kept. It was a very unique experience and one I still think about when I think of how generous and wonderful people can be.

When we were getting closer to finishing our work, she raised the idea of the article being in The Manual. I’m not sure I’ll ever forget that feeling. The authors who had been in the first one were amongst my favorites and the idea of having my words about my daughter printed in something so beautiful took my breath away. From there things moved quickly and before I knew it I was holding in my hands one of the biggest highlights of my career.

What kind of reactions did you get to the essay?

It was incredible. I got the kindest words from people who I had never met, old friends, writers and designers I admired, some shared very personal stories with me, others told me they cried, spent time with their family and friends because of what I had written. It was an experience like no other. All so incredibly positive. To know that, in a way, people cried with me and exposed themselves in such a personal way… that’s an amazing gift, one so generously given to me by Carolyn, Andy and their amazing audience.

It’s been quite a while since The Manual Issue #2 came out, so I’m assuming reactions to the essay have become a bit less frequent. Can I ask: how are you doing now?

One or two people have recently picked up a copy when I’ve told them I was lucky enough to be included and have come back with more words of support. Sometimes I get nothing, which I think is natural. It’s a topic that’s rich with awkwardness. The wave of feedback has long since passed.

These days my wife and I are doing ok. Things aren’t nearly as dark for us as they were, but we miss our daughter everyday. We talk about her so frequently ”“ about the little buds of personality that were coming through even when she was in the womb, about what she would be doing now, who she would have turned into. But we’re doing ok ”“ many couples breakdown through such an experience, and we consider ourselves lucky to have gone the other way and gotten much closer and stronger as a unit. We tend to laugh and joke around a lot more than we use to (though we were always playful), while also spending more time together.

What are your thoughts on the relationship between writing and design? Do you feel writing makes you a better designer, and vice versa? Is there anything in particular that draws you to wanting to get your thoughts on paper?

This is an awesome question — it’s something I think about fairly often as the parallels come to light the more I practice either.

Personally, writing has made me a better designer because it’s forced me to do more research and make sure of any ideas before I published them. It also, and I’m stealing this from someone (I think Zeldman tweeted it, but I might be wrong), helps organise your thoughts so you know what you think. Writing isn’t necessarily solely about expression as much as it is about giving shape to your ideas so that you can easily mold them. In this regard it’s made me a far better designer.

In terms of writing, I think the process I’ve learned to produce a piece of design have adapted well to any writing I do ”“ collecting scraps early on, thinking about the problem at hand and what a solution might look like, sketching out a rough, filling in the gaps and then refining, refining, refining, while always trying to have something pretty come out of it all. And the last steps for either design or writing seem to be the same for me ”“ I go over what’s in front of me looking to find any pockets where a bit of spice can be added and what rough edges can be removed.

Writing tends to make most other elements of my life better. I’ve gotten amazing opportunities from it, have met great people and been challenged, almost always for the better. It makes the rest of my day feel better, too. When I wake up at 5am and write for a couple hours, no matter how the rest of the day unfolds, I feel as if I have already done what I need to in order to earn my breath. I begin to look at situations and people differently ”“ objectively looking at them and myself from the point of view of someone trying to understand what’s going on and what the reason is behind things said and done. Trying to find little pieces of wisdom in every experience started to come naturally after spending hours editing my writing to find the same.

Do you have any other writing plans in the pipeline?

Yes! I’m trying, anyway. I’m wanting to relaunch my blog and focus on writing in a very serious way, but discipline is a huge issue for me at the moment. I just haven’t found that perfect rhythm of reading and writing every single day. It’s that frustrating moment where you know what to do, you can see it and feel it and smell it and taste it, it’s right there, barely an inch from reach. But you just can’t quite get to it. That’s where I am. I’m hoping as long as I keep stretching my fingers out, I’ll stop tickling the edges and finally grab ahold of the writing habit and be able to keep it safely in my pocket.

You should follow Alex on Twitter, spend some time on Retinart, and of course, read The Colors of Grief.

Andre Torrez decided that enough is enough — he will stop getting caught up in the endless complaining and criticizing whenever any new technology is released. From I give up:

But somewhere in between that new iPad, the unserviceable laptop non-story, and that idiotic comment about the new Retina displays something in my brain snapped. I give up. I surrender. The war is over. I can’t care about this stuff anymore. Getting annoyed at the pace of technology is fruitless for me. Being cynical about any new bit of technology that doesn’t fit into my view of how stuff should work has been a dragging anchor in my life.

For some reason, after reading his post I can’t get this related philosophy out of my head:

I urge each and every one of you to seek out projects that leave the world a better place than you found it. We used to design ways to get to the moon; now we design ways to never have to get out of bed. You have the power to change that.

Mike Monteiro, Design Is a Job

We push so much data into the world. Tweets and blog posts and Facebook photos and on and on it goes. I’m worried that the things we say — wait, let me make this personal. I’m worried that the things I say and do and make aren’t always respectful of the limited time and attention that you have at your disposal.

Nothing exemplifies this issue more than automated tweets made by apps like Foursquare, GetGlue, Path, etc. In a post that is now unfortunately password protected, Frank Chimero calls this kind of automated sharing “huffing the exhaust of other peopl’s digital lives”. I can’t think of a better description than that. I know we’re not supposed to tell people how to tweet, but I have to ask: is this kind of automated “content creation” really worth other people’s time? What value does it add to their lives?

I’m increasingly thinking that the things we do and make should aim to take unnecessary stuff away from people, not add more crap to their lives. This is a principle that most web and mobile applications certainly do not subscribe to. We seem almost incapable of saying “no” to shininess and more features, mostly to the detriment of the purpose of the site or application. This description by Garr Reynolds unfortunately sums the situation up too well:

These cluttered and distracting multimedia creations, filled with the superfluous and the nonessential, incorporating seemingly every special effect, color, and font the software had to offer, end up assaulting the brains of anyone who dares to look in the general direction of the screen.

Instead of just adding all the things to the world, I wish we would think more about how we can effectively remove complexities to make life easier for our users and the people who give us their time and attention. After all, the things we design become our legacy:

Great design starts with a problem statement and then proposes a solution. What you design, the way you solve the problem represents your values and ideals — it presents your vision of the good life. In solving a problem, you make certain things easier and other things harder — through intention or by omission. You assume many things about your customers, how they will engage with the solutions you have built and what they will value/the benefits they will enjoy when they use your design. This is true of companies, products and services and in each case thoughtful, detail oriented problem solving that puts the consumer first speaks most clearly.

These thoughts are all related to intent — the purpose behind the things we do, and the need for us to take responsibility for that intent. This fantastic TED talk by John Hockenberry, below, goes into the idea of intentional design in great depth and with much eloquence. It feels a lot quicker than 20 minutes, so I highly recommend that you watch it:

The point is simply this: when we do things with good intent, we show that we have empathy for our audience/users, and we try to improve their lives in some way.

Now, all of this brings me to the central question I’ve been asking myself the past few weeks. Actually, it’s a question Paul Ford planted in my mind:

If we are going to ask people, in the form of our products, in the form of the things we make, to spend their heartbeats on us, on our ideas, how can we be sure, far more sure than we are now, that they spend those heartbeats wisely?

I wish I knew the answer to his question. I don’t. But I know this: before I tweet something, before I start writing, and most importantly, before I start a new design project, I will ask myself: am I being a good steward of my audience’s time and attention? Because I’d like to design for those who want to go to the moon, not those who don’t want to get out of bed.

I enjoyed Eddie Smith’s post The color of creativity:

The process of creativity isn’t glamorous. It’s simply about hard work, the management of emotions, and delayed showmanship. And it’s necessarily lonely. To want to be creative — truly creative — is to want to entertain, which is often depressingly opposite of being entertained. 

Real creativity is the dull and failure-fraught art of giving people things they never asked for.

The phrase “delayed showmanship” immediately jumped out at me. I think that’s something none of us are naturally very good at.

Paul Ford gave the closing keynote at the 2012 MFA Interaction Design Festival, and published the text in a fantastic piece called 10 Timeframes. He spends most of the talk discussing units of time, using rich and provocative stories like this:

I can never remember if we are supposed to live each day as it were our last, or if it’s the first day of the rest of our lives. It’s hard to tell sometimes. We make movies about it over and over again. The Bucket List and Terms of Endearment and so on. Or even zombie movies. And the core assumption of those movies is usually that your life is kind of inconsequential up until that moment, that now you’re going to learn what really matters. Of course these movies are made by people who are totally dedicated to making films. They give up their lives and neglect their children to make movies about the value of family.

He ends up reframing the way we view our time to think more about how the things that we do affect other people’s time:

If we are going to ask people, in the form of our products, in the form of the things we make, to spend their heartbeats on us, on our ideas, how can we be sure, far more sure than we are now, that they spend those heartbeats wisely?

We have a responsibility to make sure that we create things that help others spend their time wisely. It’s a sobering thought. This is my favorite article of the week — so well written.

This is not a good week to be calling yourself a curator. (Um, please don’t read the description of this site in the left column.) I’m fully aware of the irony of posting a pull quote from Mitch Goldstein’s Formally Concerned, but here goes anyway:

The result of this are blogs full of nothing but other people’s stuff. Pages and pages of other peoples photographs, designs, videos, etc. This is not inherently bad, but what I get curious about is how this affects how people go about making their own work — is there room to think about something new if your mind is filled with everything else? Probably, but I would not discount the distraction of seeing an endless stream of externalized, decontextualized imagery.

I imagine the natural reaction to my opinion of this is that these Tumblr blogs act as inspiration, as a scrapbook of ideas. I question this as well, since I think true inspiration comes from the questions you ask yourself, not from constantly looking at how other people answered their own questions. I hope that the reblogging and reposting of other peoples’ work — and reblogging other peoples’ rebloggings, ad infinitum — does not take the place of actual creativity. I mean, finding cool stuff and posting it sort of feels like you are making something, right? Tumblr can provide an illusion of creation — I wonder what people would make if they were not busy making this illusion?

I’ve actually written about this before as well in the context of the “post-literate society”:

I believe [sites like Pinterest and Instagram] give users the illusion that they’re creating something without the necessary work that is required to make something good. Sharing pictures is effortless. And if we know anything about online behavior, it’s that people hate doing actual work when they can just click a button instead.

This, of course, comes off the back of Choire Sicha’s rant against people who use the word ‘curation’:

You are no different from some teen in Indiana with a LiveJournal about cutting. Sorry folks! You’re in this nasty fray with the rest of us. And your metaphor is all wrong. More likely you’re a low-grade collector, not a curator. You’re buying (in the attention economy at least! If not in the actual advertising economy of websites!) what someone else is selling””and you’re then reselling it on your blog. You’re nothing but a secondary market for someone els’s work.

I’m obviously conflicted about this, because a lot of what I do on this site is what’s considered link-blogging, adding a little bit of context and additional thought when needed. I certainly won’t call that “creating”, but I also don’t understand why there’s such a big backlash against this type of activity.

The first advice writers always give other writers is, read more. So I am comfortable with my approximately 70/30 split between posting links and writing longer, original pieces. I don’t think I’d be able to write the 30% if I didn’t spend the other 70% finding and reading great content — and why shouldn’t I share that with you? As long as the 70/30 split doesn’t become a 100/0 split, I’ll keep doing this.

On this particular issue I’m much more in agreement with Erin Kissane’s viewpoint in Bloggers and Bowerbirds:

We should stop treating the web like it’s zero-sum and start treating each other like colleagues. When people like Popova and Roth-Eisenberg show up and offer a standard, our response should not be to freak out about them wanting in on “our” cultural capital. Respecting the work of discovery doesn’t detract from respect for the work of creators. There is not a limited supply of civility and respect, so let’s stop being dicks about this stuff.

Preach it, Erin.

Christopher Butler wrote a good post on the relationship between Ego and Design, and how to structure design feedback better. It’s called Your Ego Is a Bad Designer, and he starts by explaining why development projects usually begin to go wrong during the design phase:

Design—specifically, when we start making visual decisions—is the first point in a project when we begin to engage one another in emotionally vulnerable ways. Every point in the process is an opportunity to second guess who is in control? and how do I feel about that? but design lacks the social decorum of sales negotiations and the regimentation of information architecture planning that would otherwise provide some structure for handling these potential conflicts. There’s simply no way to anticipate how the client will feel upon seeing that first mockup, or how you will respond, designer, to that initial deluge of feedback.

He then shares his approach to sharing work with clients, and structuring their feedback in a positive and helpful way. I also like the way he makes us as designers responsible for the success of a project:

We don’t fail at design because we lack tools, time, money, or the right clients. We fail at design because we lack insight. We don’t fail at design, we fail our design.

For more on design critiques, see these three great posts:

• Do you want critique, or a hug? How to gain valuable criticism on your design
• Moving from Critical Review to Critique
• Giving Better Design Feedback

Nishant Kothary takes a passage from a Jay-Z book and turns it into a great commentary on grid-based design in Rap it in a Grid:

The reality is, a grid makes the act of solving design problems seem predictable, but says nothing for supplying the appropriate design solution. The grid is akin to the beat. But it’s hardly ever the flow, which is the true design solution.

Seth Godin sums up the dilemma of the digital age quite nicely in Dancing on the edge of finished:

Facing a sea of infinity, it’s easy to despair, sure that you will never reach dry land, never have the sense of accomplishment of saying, “I’m done.” At the same time, to be finished, done, complete—this is a bit like being dead. The silence and the feeling that maybe that’s all.

Happy weekend, everybody!

Jim Dalrymple in Blogging is not a thing, it’s an attitude:

Readers connect with a blogger. They know things about them, they laugh together and sometimes argue over points in a story. It’s a give and take relationship that not everyone can handle.

Blogging is not about being stiff and rigid in your writing, but being flexible and flowing with ideas. It doesn’t matter if everyone agrees with your thoughts. In fact, that would be really boring ”” but you write it anyway.

I completely agree with Jim, and it’s one of the main things I’ve learned in the few months that I’ve been writing more on this site. Conventional blogging wisdom says that you have to pick a topic and stick with it. I read this advice all over the web, so I used to think about it all the time. I worried about the topics I covered, and whether or not I’m “allowed” to publish something if it doesn’t quite fit my One Chosen Topic. Oh, and I worried a great deal about what that One Chosen Topic should be. Writing lost its fun and became stressful.

I no longer believe that this conventional wisdom is true. I think that people follow blogs primarily because they connect with the authors and their views in some way, not because of the specific topics they cover (although of course that does play a part). It’s why I keep coming back to The Loop, Daring Fireball, The Brooks Review, Shawn Blanc, etc. It’s why I don’t mind when Marco Arment reviews LED light bulbs.

I might not always agree with these authors, but I have a genuine affinity for them, and I respect their views. They’re not faceless organizations, but human beings that write about things that interest them. And because they do it well, they get me interested in a much more diverse set of topics (like baseball). They prompt me to think more critically, and that spurs additional thoughts that feed into my own writing.

I also like this quote from Michael Lopp from his article Please Learn to Write:

Your readers are far more critical than the Python interpreter. Not only do they care about syntax, but they also want to learn something, and, perhaps, be entertained while all this learning is going down. Success means they keep coming back - failure is a lonely silence.

I think when it comes down to it, it’s the constant fear of the lonely silence that drives us to become better writers. But that’s a much better fear to have than wondering about what you’re allowed to put on your site. I’m in no position to give writing advice, but I’ll tell you what has made my experience worthwhile.

I feel like writing more has helped me find my voice. And I am becoming more comfortable with raising that voice about a continuously expanding range of topics. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not so good. But there has been a big pay-off in persisting: a small, growing community of readers that I appreciate and enjoy immensely. They tell me when I’m full of crap, and they tell me when I write something they like. That’s an incredible privilege, and why I love the blog format so much. So if you’re one of those who keep coming back and provide the occasional piece of feedback: thank you.

Ok, this turned out much longer than I planned. I actually just wanted to send you to Jim’s post. So don’t forget to go read it.