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Posts tagged “culture”

ChatGPT Is Blowing Up Marriages as It Goads Spouses Into Divorce

Wild story:

Multiple people we spoke to for this story lamented feeling “ganged up on” as a partner used chatbot outputs against them during arguments or moments of marital crisis. One of these sources, a man who’s now in the process of selling his home as he and his spouse barrel toward divorce, recounted feeling voiceless as his partner turned to ChatGPT to pathologize their relationship. “I was really hurt by the way [ChatGPT] was being used against me,” said the man, speaking through tears. “I felt like it was being leveraged… like, ‘I didn’t feel great about whatever happened, and so I went to ChatGPT, and ChatGPT said that you’re not a supportive partner, and this is what a supporting partner would do.’”

I think we have to realize that non-tech people don’t have a good understanding of the sycophantic nature of LLM bots, so we’ll see more and more examples like this.

Source: ChatGPT Is Blowing Up Marriages as It Goads Spouses Into Divorce

The illegible nature of software development talent

This resonates so hard. The tech industry’s obsession with LARPing roles in the public sphere has really hurt our ability to work with people who care and want to do the best work of their lives without distractions.

I think it’s unlikely the industry will get much better at identifying and evaluating candidates anytime soon. And so I’m sure we’ll continue to see posts about the importance of your LinkedIn profile, or your GitHub, or your passion project. But you neglect at your peril the engineers who are working nine-to-five days at boring companies.

Source: The illegible nature of software development talent

The US Population Could Shrink in 2025, For the First Time Ever

Well, today I learned about the consequences of population decline:

The U.S. cannot grow through native-born fertility alone. As immigration collapses, the US population will stagnate and even shrink. Urban economics will buckle. Fields will go unharvested. Homes will go unbuilt. Sick Americans will go untreated. Life-saving medicines will go undiscovered. Many voters hated the era of record immigration. They might hate the era of record deportations even more.

Yes I know this sounds dire. But read the whole essay, Derek brings receipts.

Source: The US Population Could Shrink in 2025, For the First Time Ever

"The Mountain in the Sea", AI fears, and connectedness

(Mild spoilers ahead for The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler)

I recently finished the novel The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler (see Andrew Liptak’s excellent review here). On the surface it’s about discovering an octopus colony that evolved into a self-aware, intelligent community—and trying to communicate with them. But as with all good novels it’s actually about other things. It’s about loneliness, understanding each other, conservation—and yes, our relationship with AI.

First, to get the AI thing out of the way… I don’t want this blog to sound like I am anti-AI. I use AI every day both at the chat / thinking partner level and the prototyping / vibe coding level. I am a fan of using AI for the things that it’s good at. I just worry that we are not teaching people outside of the tech bubble what those things are. And that’s why we are seeing so many tragic stories right now about chat agents “guiding” people to horrific actions (see, for example, Let’s Talk About ChatGPT-Induced Spiritual Psychosis and ‘I Feel Like I’m Going Crazy’: ChatGPT Fuels Delusional Spirals).

With that as background, the book does a good job of highlighting some of the dangers of using AI for things it’s not good at. First, this is a good point about how with every new technology we have to think about what can go wrong, not just what can go right:

When you invent the ship, you also invent the shipwreck; when you invent the plane you also invent the plane crash; and when you invent electricity, you invent electrocution. Every technology carries its own negativity, which is invented at the same time as technical progress.[1]

Following from that, this quote about the main character “killing” their AI companion stood out to me…

That’s how this works. That’s how addictive this is—this need to feel like there is always someone there, unconditionally. Someone to talk to. Someone who understands. To not have to do the work myself to make myself understood. Instead, I just kept on with this self-deception, pretending I had someone when I did not. I know the doctors who prescribed you to me meant well. They thought they were helping me through a dark time. But in the end, you aren’t anything but a prosthesis. You can’t replace real support.

The other major theme in the book centers around our connectedness with each other and the world, how language can get in the way of connection, and how lonely we’ve become as a society[2]. I love this call to empathy as a way to get ourselves out of that dilemma (emphasis mine):

Are we trapped, then, in the world our language makes for us, unable to see beyond the boundaries of it? I say we are not. Anyone who has watched their dog dance its happiness in the sand and felt that joy themselves—anyone who has looked into a neighboring car and seen a driver there lost in thought, and smiled and seen the image of themselves in that person—knows the way out of the maze: Empathy. Identity with perspectives outside our own. The liberating, sympathetic vibrations of fellow-feeling. Only those incapable of empathy are truly caged.

A book about discovering intelligent life in an octopus species with its own language and culture might seem like a weird premise. But it works really well here. It gets pretty heavy-handed towards the end, but it still made me think a lot about the “loneliness epidemic”, our relationship with AI, and the continuing role of empathy in making sure we stay connected with each other. Recommended!


  1. This line of thinking reminds me a lot of Kevin Kelly’s 2010 (!) book What Technology Wants in which he makes a similar point that technology is never “neutral”. That’s ok, but we have to be prepared for it.  

  2. I don’t think that’s a controversial statement any more. See articles like The Anti-Social Century  

The troubling decline in conscientiousness

Here’s some research about professional success that I wasn’t aware of before, but this totally tracks with what I’ve observed in my career:

In fact, studies consistently find that traits such as conscientiousness (the quality of being dependable and disciplined), emotional stability or agreeableness have a stronger link with professional success, relationship durability and longevity than the links between those outcomes and someone’s intelligence or socio-economic background.

Now here’s the problem…

All this makes it disconcerting that levels of conscientiousness in the population appear to be in decline. Extending a pioneering 2022 US study which identified early signs of a drop during the pandemic, I found a sustained erosion of conscientiousness, with the fall especially pronounced among young adults.

Digging deeper into the data, which comes from the Understanding America Study, we can see that people in their twenties and thirties in particular report feeling increasingly easily distracted and careless, less tenacious and less likely to make and deliver on commitments.

Source: The troubling decline in conscientiousness

The hidden cost of RTO: Why forcing choice is detrimental to your business

Yep this tracks.

Researchers at Gartner have observed that high-performing employees react to a return-to-office mandate as a trust issue, resulting in a 16% lower intent to stay. “High-performing employees are more easily able to pursue opportunities at organizations that offer hybrid or fully remote policies,” said Caitlin Duffy, a director in the Gartner HR Practice. “Losing high performers to attrition costs organizations in terms of productivity, difficulty in backfilling the role, and the overall loss of high-quality talent available to fill critical positions.”

Source: The hidden cost of RTO: Why forcing choice is detrimental to your business

Workplace jargon hurts employee morale, collaboration, study finds

This is fun research but did they have to use “reach out” in this quote.

According to a new study, using too much jargon in the workplace can hurt employees’ ability to process messages, leading them to experience negative feelings and making them feel less confident. In turn, they’re less likely to reach out and ask for or share information with their colleagues.

Source: Workplace jargon hurts employee morale, collaboration, study finds

Every Single Human. Like. Always.

I almost skipped this Michael Lopp piece, but I’m glad I didn’t. It’s one of his best in a long time, especially if you’re a manager. Reframing the act of working with AI as “making the robots dance” is so good. But there’s more to it than that. Just read it, ok?

Robots don’t lie. Lying requires intent to deceive, and when a robot provides you with plausible-sounding, but incorrect statements, it’s either following its programming or making an error. Or both. Humans lie. They boast, they are tragically optimistic, they exaggerate, they forget, I could go on for a long, long while. It’s a list of foibles that make them familiar… that makes them human. What do I do as a leader to work with these troublesome humans? Well, here’s a short, essential list:

  • I speak clearly and specifically, so my intent is clear.
  • I frame conversations with context so everyone understands my ideas.
  • I understand errors are part of the process and work to build tools to prevent them.
  • I debate and plan big ideas before I begin.

Source: Every Single Human. Like. Always.

The game you’ve never heard of that taught me a better way to build alignment

In South Africa we call this game (where the goal is to keep the rally going as long as possible) “Beach Ball” so I immediately got it. And despite my aversion to “Here’s what X taught me about B2B Sales” posts this one actually got to me. Because Gabrielle is right. The communication goal—especially in big corporations—is not to win, it’s to keep talking until you have a better way forward:

In tennis, you win by hitting shots your opponent can’t return. In Frescobol, you win by setting up your partner to succeed. One earns you points. The other builds momentum. When you default to tennis, every hard conversation becomes a match to win. You come in armed with tactics—rebuttals, logic, bulletproof clarity. But the more you prepare to win, the more you risk breaking the rhythm that makes change possible. Frescobol invites a different question: “What would I say differently if my goal were to extend the rally, not win the point?”

Source: The game you’ve never heard of that taught me a better way to build alignment

From Memo to Movement: Shopify’s Cultural Adoption of AI

I think we’ve all seen the internal Shopify memo on requiring teams to use AI. This is a great article on what happened next. I especially love the internal tools Shopify built to make adoption easier:

Employees can use the LLM proxy to build the workflows they need. They can select from different models, which are updated with the latest versions as soon as they’re released. There’s a collection of MCPs, and all it takes is asking the proxy (or another tool like Cursor) to access them. There’s even a stable of agents already created by other people for anyone to use. It’s a one-stop shop for everything someone needs to use AI.

Source: From Memo to Movement: Shopify’s Cultural Adoption of AI